Have a sexy Christmas!
So, I’m having a funky Friday putting my tree up to the soundtrack of Beck’s Midnite Vultures: such a great and witty album. I’ve inherited my mother’s attention to detail for Christmas trees – stick to 2–3 colours (white and gold this year) and preferably every bauble in sets of three. Got some lovely oysters with pearls from John Lewis that look vaguely vulval… 🙂 My new topper is a write-off though. 🙁 It’s a medium-sized white glittery star, but I can never get the feckers to stay in place! Might treat myself to a new tree next year, as well.
Now, just the Christmas card writing to tackle. I could do with a day off civvy work to get everything I need to do done, but won’t whinge!
As you may have seen on my Twitter feed, I am out of action for health reasons until at least New Year’s Eve. Fingers crossed I’ll be able to start 2019 with a bang or several. But in the meantime I wish you and yours a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and horny new year. Kx
No-vember
Blimey, I cannot believe how quickly 2018 has gone. First it was packing, then unpacking, and then what seemed like a non-stop onslaught of civvy work. I’ve had a slight let up on that front over the past 4–5 days, but it’s back to the grindstone later this week. I’ve already got a HUGE project lined up to start on December 31, so at this rate it’s looking like I’ll be lucky to take a week off around Christmas! 🙁
All this means I’ve done much less escorting than normal – or that I’d like! Unfortunately, a small health issue has also arisen: I thought it would be resolved by now, but it looks like I’m going to have to hold off from taking bookings again until about November 17th. Boo…
When I do return, I’ll be going back to my standard pricing, i.e. £60 for 30 minutes and £80 for 45m. While I’m here it perhaps bears repeating that a). I’m never available ‘now’, b). I don’t answer calls from hidden numbers and c). it really does save us both time if you read this site, especially the Services page, or my AdultWork profile at least.
On the plus side, all being well I will be available all over the Christmas and New Year period, so if you feel the need for a break from visiting family, mince pies and turkey sandwiches, my place can be your little oasis of calm.
Any NW tights fetishists?
I do love me a bit of tights ripping… I’ve got sturdy legs and plenty of pairs for you to destroy!
I need a brew and a break!
Jeez, I’ve never been divorced (would need to have got married for that…) but moving house is definitely one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done, and this time – with knobs on!
Firstly, I’d been in my old house for 11 years, and had accumulated a lot of stuff over that time, including things from my parents’ house waiting in the loft to be sold. Of course, I didn’t get round to selling 90% of it, so it had to come with me. There was thus masses and masses of packing to do. Secondly, my last couple of moves have only been within a 5-10 minute drive, but this relocation was 200+ miles away, to Preston from Watford, so I couldn’t just come and go inbetween houses.
I was literally still packing while the removals men were loading the van, but made it. One box got left behind by accident, and I missed a clock, but I managed to retrieve the more important things in the box and stuff them in my suitcase. Annoyingly, I left two bookcases that came with the house, and it turned out I could have taken them – they would have been very useful here. But, overall, I can’t complain, and so far, I’ve only found one wine glass broken during transit. I was up for 6am, and the removals lorry drove off at about 7.30pm: what a day.
Alas, after 48 hours to unpack the essentials I had to throw myself into civvy work due to a big project deadline, and that has only just begun to ease off. So, I’m finally getting round to sorting the bedrooms out and will be able to start bookings in Preston from the evening of Friday 25th; I’ll also be available over the Whitsun weekend.
My only concern about my new in call location is parking, as it is permit controlled 8am–6pm and I am currently unable to get a new visitor’s permit card. Neighbours have assured me that we never get traffic wardens though, and I’ve not seen one. Locals may well know of somewhere close to park, but if push comes to shove there is a car park about a 10-minute walk away, and when I get chance I’ll do some more reconnaisance to try and find handy/close parking spots. And I am only a 15–20 minute walk from the city centre.
Anyway, no doubt I’ll be sorted and settled soon. In the meantime, time to put the kettle on and hopefully have some much-needed sex soon!
Last but not least, many thanks to Steve of Select Website Design for revamping my website: I can highly recommend him, not least for his patience with my fussiness over fonts etc. 🙂
Kx
Moving on
Gosh, so long since I wrote anything! Life has been crazy busy since November with civvy work and looking for a new home in a different part of the country.
And now, events are moving apace, and my last working day in Hertfordshire will be Saturday, April 21st. I shall then be relocating north, and changing my URL, profile name etc. accordingly.
As a result my availability may not be great over April, but I’ll do my best to accommodate anyone I’ve seen before especially, and please try: weekends and evenings in particular might not be too bad.
I’ve gathered an amazing little group of regulars over the past 3.5 years, and will really miss them. I will, however, be coming back down south every couple of months once I’m settled, so please keep an eye on my Twitter feed or blog posts on my new website if you’re interested in knowing when I’ll be in Herts or London.
And of course, you are all welcome to come and see me in my beautiful new house in the land of parched peas and hotpot!
GMT, and my working hours
The day the clocks go back seems like a good time to do a bit of an adminstrative post about my availability and times…
- I really cannot stress this enough, but I am NEVER available ‘now’ or within a few minutes. I rarely do more than one booking per day, which I fit around my other job and general commitments; I don’t sit around in full make-up and hold-ups waiting for bookings. If you don’t mind me not wearing make-up I can normally shower etc. within 30 minutes, but 45 minutes is better and if at all possible an hour’s notice is appreciated.
- I don’t usually start until 14:00 (sometimes 15:00), though if confirmed the night before I can do bookings from 10am.
- Although I do work up to 23:00 Sunday–Thursday, and up to midnight on Friday and Saturday nights, because of planning dinner etc. any bookings after 21:00 need to be arranged by 20:00. I can only do later bookings last minute once in a blue moon.
- You’re welcome to book as far in advance as you like; I will just ask for confirmation the day before.
- For every booking, I ask for a confirmation text one hour before start time.
- I can potentially work any day of the week, including bank holidays. On the other hand, my civvy work commitments vary enormously, and sometimes I am unable to do bookings at all, or not until the evening. I therefore don’t have any set working times.
- I’m not particularly methodical about it, but I do use my Twitter feed (@KayHerts) to provide updates about my availability.
You are welcome to make initial contact via email, AdultWork message (please do not submit a booking request with no prior contact), Twitter, a message on one of the other directories I’m on, UK Escorting, text or phone call. Please note, however, that I will not engage in prolonged text exchanges and that no booking will be confirmed until we have spoken on the phone. For returning clients, I’m happy to arrange everything via text.
I do not pick up calls from unknown/blocked numbers: if you’re wary about anonymity I suggest emailing me first if you have any queries, but it’s most sensible to use a separate phone or SIM to arrange escort bookings. I never give out my door number in writing, so you will need a mobile phone with you at the time of the booking.
Last but not least, I want to provide clients with a good service and enjoy the booking myself. If for some reason I don’t feel we’ll be compatible I may decline a visit from you – please don’t take it as an insult!
Haterz gonna hate
So, today has been interesting. Switched my phone on only to start receiving some rather perplexing calls and texts. It turned out that my inability to tolerate idiots got me into trouble on a forum, with the result that another escort and/or her pimp, partner or random punter decided to target me. They put up fake profiles for me on a swinging site, a dogging site, and most disturbingly created an online ad – stealing my photos from AdultWork and stating that I did bareback anal sex for the bargain price of £70 per hour.
Nice…
I received a few enquiries from the ad, which was worrying in itself, but at least the one man I spoke to was helpful, and most of the men who contacted me on the dogging site were apologetic when I explained the situation, too. All three sites were great at deleting the content quickly, which was a relief.
I was also bombarded with texts by the said escort and one of her psycho chums.
In case any of the involved parties are reading this, please be assured that if you contact or harass me again, the next time you hear from me it will be via a solicitor.
Nifty fifty!
So, having arrived in the world during the Summer of Love, just after Sergeant Pepper, in a few weeks’ time I shall be celebrating my 50th birthday.
In honour of this momentous event, I’m changing my prices from June 1st until the August bank holiday, with an emphasis on 50. My hour remains unchanged at £100, but a 30-minute booking is now £50, and two hours a bargain £150! See my rates page for the full info.
And don’t worry – plenty of life in this old girl yet… 😉
Up with the cock?!
Any early birds out there? I know many men get the horn in the morning, so thanks to my strange current body clock pattern, I’ve decided to offer dawn bookings for any early risers, insomniacs and shift workers. Normal rates apply. The bookings must start between 5–6am and finish by 6.30am (perhaps 7am at a push), plus they will need to be arranged by midnight – I’ll be turning my phone off by 1am.
I’ll see how it goes, but for now these early morning bookings will be available from now until the General Election: after my date with David Dimbleby I might try and start getting to bed a little earlier. Despite my own political leanings, clients of all persuasions are welcome… 🙂
And don’t worry, I’ll be wide awake and ready for cock over the next few weeks!
FAQs
As I often seem to get asked the same questions I thought it might be handy to do a post with some FAQs…
Do you squirt?
No. Never. You will not make it happen. I do, however, gush (female ejaculation) occasionally.
Do you do anal?
No.
Do you do CIM/swallow?
No.
Do you do face-sitting?
I do, but it’s not my favourite thing, and I wouldn’t do it for prolonged periods.
Do you ever work through your period?
No, my periods are very light/brief at the moment, but I always take a few days off.
Are you really 49?
Yes. I’ve never lied about my age and have no intention of starting. I will hit the big 50 in the summer!
Are you dom or sub?
Neither. I have zero interest in BDSM. I do, however, provide a ‘dominant mama’ service and have no problem with giving light to moderate spanking if requested.
Will you cater to foot fetishes?
I’d rather not. My feet are ticklish.
Do you see couples or do MMFs?
No.
Will you come to my house?
Not unless I’ve met you for an in-call first; I will only do out-calls to new clients in hotels.
Do you do duos or work with any other escorts?
No.
Will you send me a face pic?
No. You can see parts of my face in some pics, but I will not show it in full online or via a message. No client has run away screaming, yet!