Goodbye, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu…
So, after 8.5 years of a mostly enjoyable escorting career, a few weeks ago I decided to retire. It was really due to a ‘perfect storm’ of events and timings, but if I’m being honest, my heart hasn’t really been in it for the past year or so, for a variety of reasons, and I have no regrets about stopping now – even though I will definitely miss the extra income, especially as my retirement has unexpectedly coincided with a downturn in earnings from my civvy job. At least now I’ll be able to focus more on hopefully reversing/stabilising that.
Like anyone who’s been involved in sex work for any amount of time, I could reflect on the nightmare clients: the crossdresser who looked like a drunk Bet Lynch and stank of mothballs; the magenta nose and cock; the black teeth; the killer halitosis; the coke droop; etc. etc.
But… honestly, they pale into insignificance next to all the lovely, normal men I met, some of whom became friends or more. I will always be grateful for the good – sometimes great – sex, the laughs, the cash, the companionship, and the respect. I was also lucky in that I never felt in physical danger, although I did have a few uncomfortable moments.
My parting advice to anyone considering visiting an escort:
- Treat them as you would like to be treated yourself: paying someone for a service isn’t a free pass to behave like a dickhead.
- Be clean, and that means everywhere – especially under your foreskin and your arse(hole).
- Brush your teeth thoroughly at least once a day, and go to the dentist/dental hygienist at least once a year, and more if you smoke. Some of the teeth I’ve seen have been genuinely shocking.
- Be sensible when choosing which escort to see: don’t book someone who makes it clear they don’t do e.g. CIM if that’s what you fancy. Escorts spend time writing their profiles for a reason.
- If there’s anything unusual about you, like a missing limb or a huge surgical scar, mention it beforehand. No decent escort is going to be fazed by it, but it can be unpleasant – or at least a shock – if you’re not expecting it.
- Likewise, if you have any unusual requests, mention them before the booking rather than announcing them on arrival and putting the escort in an awkward spot.
- It’s not the escort’s fault if your erection fails with condoms, unless she’s got very bad judgement/a poor selection. Deal with it yourself.
Most of all, try to have fun, and appreciate them when you meet an escort who provides a good service and you ‘click’ with.
Happy sex! Kx
Can a sex worker be a feminist?
Well… My answer is yes, of course – I’m both. But it’s certainly an interesting area for discussion. First, it might be worth looking at the different types of feminism.
Although there are many shades in between, and there are now women* who call themselves things like ‘femalists’, most feminists fall roughly into one of two categories: radical and liberal. Broadly speaking, radical feminism is more old school, while liberal feminism is a newer development that seeks to empower women by using/manipulating the patriarchy rather than destroying it. So, libfems are, for example, pro sex work, whereas radfems want to abolish prostitution all together. Similarly, libfems tend not to object to surrogacy, and for many their feminism is ‘intersectional’, i.e. it includes (trans-identifying) men.
*Men can be allies, but not feminists.
Like many women I’ve come to feminism fairly recently (4–5 years ago) and via the gender critical movement. I don’t like the term GC, and don’t feel it’s accurate, but I’ll use it as short-hand. Gender critics disagree with gender identity ideology, which is the belief that ‘gender’ is as, or even more, important than biological sex, that transwomen are women, transmen are men and that some people are ‘non-binary’. As a biologist by background, I view this as anti-scientific nonsense, and became horrified – and thus more active in the fight against it – when I saw more and more organisations being captured.
Gender critics are NOT transphobic – we believe everyone should be able to live as they wish. What is important to us is that sex is recognised when necessary and that single-sex spaces are protected, women and girls can have fair sports, prizes, quotas etc. For example, rape trauma centres should be available that only allow women in. Ditto changing rooms, bathrooms etc. That doesn’t mean similar mixed-sex facilities shouldn’t be available if appropriate, just that there should always be single-sex options.
Language is important – ‘cis’ is more nonsense, retroactively applied by trans rights activists who want ‘trans’ women to be an equal subset of women. No. It’s like taking about undecaffeinated coffee. I call men men. For those who still think it’s about ‘being kind’, I’d like you to ask yourself a few questions.
- Where are all the balaclava-clad middle-aged women protesting outside trans rights events?
- Why is 90% of ‘trans rights’ activism about men gaining access to women and girls’ spaces?
- Why aren’t women trying to get into Masonic lodges or some cricket or golf clubs?
- Why do women’s health publications talk about ‘cervix havers’ and ‘menstruators’ yet when the subject is e.g. prostate cancer it’s just ‘men’?
Do you see it yet…?
So, I am definitely not a libfem (it is, in my opinion, a younger women’s movement, and I suspect many will grow out of it as their life experiences increase). One common fallacy about radfems is that they hate men. While it’s maybe true that there is a higher proportion of lesbians in the radfem movement, including some ‘political’ lesbians, many radical, or at least firm, feminists are happily married with children. I certainly have zero interest in women sexually and have loved or been friends with many men. That doesn’t stop me recognising, or even experiencing, issues like the sex pay gap.
I’m thus maybe 75% GC, 25% radfem. The obvious source of disagreement with the latter for me is sex work. I believe it’s incredibly naïve to think prostitution will ever be abolished. That said, I also appreciate that I’m in the very lucky 5–10% of women globally who are in the trade 100% voluntarily and with the ability to choose exactly who I see and what services I offer. The vast majority of women in sex work – when you look at it from a worldwide perspective – enter it for one of two reasons: dire poverty, or coercion. Many, many prostitutes are trafficked and face violence or even slavery, and this includes some sex workers in the UK.
While I love the internet and think it’s generally a force for good, one of the downsides of social media particularly is the loss of the ability to have discussions and disagreements – now, everyone who disagrees with you even slightly is a Nazi bigot. It’s tiresome and juvenile. One of the plus points of feminism is that while there are many arguments, they rarely devolve to this level. And that’s why, while I disagree with radfems about sex work, I am sympathetic to their views because I know their hearts are in the right place. I think we need to tackle the trafficking aspect separately, and ditto the poverty, and that if these two issues were successfully dealt with, a much higher proportion of escorts would be fully independent and in control of their lives and work, including being able to exit sex work whenever they wanted.
So, yes, you can be both a sex worker and a feminist, if you believe women and girls’ lives are just as precious as those of men. We only need to look to Afghanistan and Iran to see what happens when they are viewed as lesser, not to mention the dozens of other countries where they face FGM, child marriage, female infanticide, menstrual huts and the myriad of other indignities and injustices.
Catch me while you can!
Unusually, I’m taking a longer break from my civvy job over Christmas, so I have good availability from Tuesday 28th until Sunday 9th January inclusive. It’s still a wise idea to book at least the day before though, especially if you’d like a booking before 3pm (I can start from 11am).
I received my booster jab about a month ago, so it’s now active, but I’d appreciate it if you would do an LFT the day before if at all possible. I’ve been doing them 2–3 days after mixing with other people – so far, so good.
Au revoir, AdultWork
Well, it’s been a fun seven years, but I’ll be losing my AdultWork profile in a couple of weeks due to the new verification requirements being enforced by Mastercard. Quite frankly, hell will freeze over before I give AW or any similar outfit my personal information!
I’m still on a number of other directories, and time allowing, will try and update my profiles. Of course, hopefully some new clients will find this site via search engines, and I’m also on Escorting Hub (user name = Teabag) – you should join: it can be a laugh and it’s all free, with zero verification but a low tolerance threshold for idiots.
See you around!
And I’m back!
Yes, I’m still alive… and I’ve had both jabs (but not a haircut yet). I think everything still works, but I have lube available just in case!
Now the nitty-gritty… I’m only going to be available on an extremely limited basis, beginning from Sunday or Monday until June 5th, when I hope I’ll have a little more time. But, on-the-day bookings are likely going to be as rare as hen’s teeth, especially before about 7.30pm. I’ll be available between 2pm and 10.30pm, and I may also be able to do the odd very early morning booking (5.30–7am).
Until the autumn at least, I won’t be doing out-calls at all, but I am going to reinstate 15-minute bookings over the summer (please note these are for penetrative sex, or cuddles/hand jobs/ANR – I don’t do oral-only bookings of any length).
As I’ve missed it a lot, I’m also going to offer 30-minute ANR bookings for £40 (suckling to take up at least 10–15 minutes of the time).
Please check my rates page for other prices.
Hope to see you soon! Kx
COVID-19 update, August
So, I still haven’t done any bookings! Although the restrictions due to be lifted on August 1st have now been put back for at least two weeks, I am officially available again. Until all COVID restrictions are removed, I am working differently, however:
- I’m only offering two types of booking (see below)
- No hugging or kissing on arrival
- Cash into a dish on the side near the door
- Clients wash their hands and face or take a quick shower, leaving their clothes and other possessions on the landing
- Then we get down to some much-needed therapeutic activity… 😉
Option 1. Normal services for 1 or 1.5 hours only, but at my old/reduced price of £100 for 1h or £140 for 1.5h. Must be booked at least the day before.
Option 2. The ‘COVID Quickie’. No kissing or oral given. Up to 30 minutes for just £50, with breast play/ANR, fingering, and sex in doggy, spoons or deep stick position (i.e. no missionary or cowgirl). No limit on pops if you can go twice! I will likely not be wearing make-up and no costume requests. These bookings can be arranged on the day (2–3pm through to 11pm), though the more notice you can give me, the higher the chance they’ll happen, and I always need at least 30–45 minutes to shower etc.
I appreciate times are hard for some, but sex is such a mood-lifter, so I hope the COVID Quickie will help out those who just want a bloody good, straightforward shag. For those who haven’t seen me before, I always orgasm through vaginal sex. For those who have met me, I’m now hovering between light brown and blonde hair after a much-needed post-lockdown trip to the hairdresser earlier this week!
Hope to see you soon. Kx
Life goes on…
As my birthday approaches, I can only say – roll on 2021! What a write-off 2020 has been. As someone at slightly higher risk I have self-isolated quite firmly and have only left the house a handful of times in the past three months. I’m used to living and working alone, but it is beginning to get to even me…
…so, I’ve decided to restart bookings POTENTIALLY from July 4th – but this is with a lot of caveats. I am keeping an eye on the rate of infections/deaths in the Preston area, and if it starts to increase again I will go back on to a hiatus.
My working methods for the foreseeable future (i.e., until the risk of COVID-19 is significantly reduced) will be as follows:
- Bookings of 1 or 1.5 hours ONLY, but these will be on my 2019 rates – £100 for 1h, and £140 for 1.5h
- All bookings must be made at least the day before
- No kissing or contact upon entry, cash to be left on the side before going upstairs
- Clients must undress on the landing, leave their clothes there, and have a shower, then proceed to the boudoir
- My actual services will remain unchanged.
I will only be doing one or two bookings a week, civvy job and other demands on my time allowing. I would also obviously ask that you stay away if you have concerns you might be infected. This is uncharted terrority, but I’m hoping that with a little bit of common sense we can get back to having some fun!
Ch, ch, ch, ch, changes
So, I shall shortly be back – but with some modifications to how I work, and my rates, and I thought it might be an idea to explain the rationale for these changes.
When I was based in Herts, I seemed to be able to balance escorting quite well with my freelance civvy work, seeing 4–5 clients a week on average. Since I relocated to Preston in the spring of 2018, this has not been the case! It’s partly just because my civvy workload seemed to become much heavier, but I have also seen a bit of a shift in my work pattern, which involves me often having to work more during business hours (in my case, especially 12–6pm).
Some clients understandably expect escorts to be sat around showered, hair and make-up done, bed changed, stockings on and waiting for bookings, but I have never worked like that. To get ready for a booking, I need to break off my civvy work, and this became increasingly more difficult when faced with deadlines, plus it was also sometimes tough to motivate myself to do so just for a 30-minute booking, which still involves an hour’s preparation for me, i.e. I spend 1.5 hours for 0.5 hour’s pay – less than my civvy hourly rate. For regulars this wasn’t a problem, but I was doubly cautious when it came to new clients in case they turned out to be a timewaster and no show even after confirming just an hour beforehand (all sex workers will tell you this is unfortunately common).
As such, I’ve decided to instigate a new way of working when I return, which will hopefully be over the weekend of March 6–8th. Firstly, no more 15-minute bookings at all. Secondly, I’m increasing my rates in general, and proportionately especially for 30-minute bookings (as these represent the worst total time vs income ratio for me). Another reason for my rate increase is that I’d rather see clients who specifically want to see me – and as a 52-year-old SSBBW, I am pretty niche! – than have an ‘any hole’s a goal’ mindset.
Whilst this is not a change, I’d also like to emphasise again that a bit of notice (24 hours is fine, 48 hours even better) is far more likely to secure a booking. If I know I have to take a couple of hours out of an afternoon I can plan accordingly, but I’m often not likely to be able to just drop everything and get ready with an hour’s notice. There’s no harm in asking as some days I will be at a loose end, but especially between noon and 7pm, it’s 50:50 at best. I have a bit more flexibility 10am-noon, but ONLY if booked at least one day before – I’m never available before 2pm on the day. The same goes with bookings between 7pm and 11pm, but these need to be arranged by 5pm.
I really do enjoy escorting, for all sorts of reasons, so I’m hoping I can find a way that works for me and doesn’t involve me constantly having to say ‘no’ to bookings. I’m going to give this about six months and will then review. Spring is in the air, and it is time to fornicate!
No, nothing as exotic as a week in skiing in Verbiers, I’m afraid! I am, however, going into hibernation on the escorting front for a few weeks, so I can concentrate on other stuff for a while.
I’ll still be reading and replying to emails and be on Twitter, fora etc., but will probably only be putting my phone on to check messages once or twice a day (as it being on all day is one of the most distracting parts of escorting…)
I’m not sure yet when I’ll be back, except it will be after Valentine’s Day but before Good Friday.
C’mon, you Peaky Blinders!
I’m attending a conference in the West Midlands next weekend, and as I’ve never really spent any time in Birmingham, decided to tag on an extra night in the city centre on Monday 16th. I should therefore have time to do one booking between 18:30 and 22:30 on the Monday evening, and another 8-10am on the Tuesday morning. I’ll be staying at a chain hotel in Snow Hill.
Flat cap optional!