So, at the grand old age of 51, I’ve finally got round to planning a trip north of the border, to the land of my forefathers (though they’re actually from even further north). It’s a personal trip rather than a whoring tour, but I should have time to do the odd booking. I’m going to be in a hotel near Glasgow Central station: I don’t know what it’s like, but if there’s any issue with keycards etc. I’ll just meet you outside or in the lobby.

I do like to travel fairly light, so won’t have lots to choose from outfit wise, but if you book before Friday 22nd I’ll see what I can do.

My likely available times are:

• Saturday 23rd: 7–11pm
• Sunday 24th: 9–11am, 7–10pm
• Monday 25th: 8–11am, 4–11pm
• Tuesday 26th: 8–10.30am

Bookings will be at my normal rates, and I’ll do 30m minimum and 2h maximum. I’ll also add up to two further hours social time if anyone fancies dinner or lunch. Just please, none of the above!